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Clorox Develops App to Alert People You're Having Sex

By BobCostanzo
On April 3, 2014

 

It's Friday night, and you've elected to stay at home with your favorite certain someone, nestled in that green Snuggie your aunt bought you for Christmas two winters ago. Finally, it's paid off. Netflix is up and ready, and you've already queued up the latest season of New Girl because they're totally into that. Tucked behind one of the pillows - an attempt to surprise them, no doubt - is a jar of pineapple that they've been raving about ever since Snooki tweeted about them during her trip to the movies. So far, so good. You've even readied a couple sticks of gum. You'll chew the first one casually, and then offer the second one to them so that it won't seem like you're trying to suggest their breath reeks of pickled pineapple. Then, it happens: she leans down for the kiss, and you try to ignore the melded smell of mint and pineapple. Things escalate, and you know something is going to happen tonight, but you're worried because your roommate will be back from their midnight trip to the 'library' - that's what they call it, anyway. 

 

Worry not, because Clorox (yes, the people who make that blue laundry detergent) has pioneered an app that alerts people in the area that when users are 'busy.' The modern-day take on the 'sock on the doorknob' trick is packed into an app titled 'Sock-It', and is designed to make the whole process much easier. Users simply open the app, type in their 'love handle', and press the little heart shaped button to let everyone in the area know they are 'getting it on' in the next room over. 

 

When asked if they could see others using the app, Steph Nigrelli, a junior, said, "Some people might, because it might be cool way to just say 'Hey, I'm having sex right now.' Other people would probably be pretty embarrassed, though."

 

When told about the app, Steph Waterman, a sophomore, said, "Would people really use it? I don't think if people were about to have sex they'd stop to go into the app on their phone." When asked what she thought about Clorox developing such an app, Waterman responded that it seemed "random."

 

According to the Sock-It listing on the Apple App store, "Sock-It app uses iBeacon technology to let anyone who comes near your door know that you're, well... a little busy at the moment." iBeacon technology is just a really fancy way to say it uses Bluetooth to send out a little notification to any would-be passerby traveling down the hall of the dorm. It might be a little confusing though when students receive a notification from 'Don Juan' or 'Casanova' as you walk down the hall on the way to class. 

 

While it's doubtful the app will actually catch on, it's still a pretty amusing attempt by a widely regarded company to appeal to the younger demographic. If users do use the app, just don't let Clorox know that you're using Tide Pods. It might hurt their feelings. 


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