On Wednesday PSC’s Better Living Apartment/Housing Committee (BLAH) will meet to discuss changes to the entire Non-Traditional Student Apartment Complex. The committee, which consists of ten NTSA residents and no one else, has been given the opportunity to renovate the existing apartments over summer vacation in preparation for next year’s residents. The Committee has received over $50 million in donations from everyone from former President Bill Clinton to astronaut Buzz Aldrin to comedienne Margaret Cho. “Maybe if I give some money to the school I’ll get to perform during their Homecoming weekend sometime,” Cho chided.
Several of the apartments are already being prepared to house first-year and sophomore students next year, which technically violates the Code of Ethics for the NTSA. Plans to turn several single-person apartments into two-person apartments for younger, more privileged students began late last year. Next fall, those students who meet the criteria of having a cumulative GPA of 2.0 or higher and live in any state other than New Hampshire will be eligible to live amongst the wiser and, ahem, more experienced students.
The most important, and, nonetheless, more exciting topic of the meeting will be the renovations to those apartments already housed by students. Plans differ between single- and double-occupancy apartments. “The renovations that will take place over the summer will be unbelievable,” said Richard Head, Chief Coordinator for BLAH and former NTSA resident. “I wish these changes were made back in the 1950s when I was a young and spirited student here. But I understand how times and technology have changed.”
Renovations differ from floor to floor. Structural changes in the complex include ice-proof escalators in place of rickety metal staircases and moving sidewalks around the entire building. Laundry rooms will be replaced by free shuttle services every hour to and from the downtown Laundromats for no extra charge. Those rooms will house security officers from 6 a.m. to 12 p.m. Monday through Thursday. Since the room will not be occupied from Friday through Sunday, residents will be free to use the room for other “recreational” purposes. Also planned for all apartments is a weekly maid service. The cost will be free and be provided by Cleaners Anonymous, Manchester, N.H. For those wishing to enjoy the great outdoors, a complete playground will be installed in the center courtyard. “Students must have the opportunities to explore the outside world around them and for them to become children again,” said Mr. Rogers from his neighborhood watch post located at the intersection of Highland Ave. and Langdon St.
Ground floor apartments will be transformed into tiny individual pieces of paradise. Palm trees will line the entryways outside each group of apartments. Inside, all windows will be replaced with window seats and bay windows to allow more light to enter the already cavernous dwellings. Shag carpeting will be laid down and marble countertops will be installed in the kitchens. IKEA, the internationally known Scandinavian furniture company, has a contract with PSC to refurnish every apartment in the NTSA. I. M. Svent, President and Chief Designer, explained, “We at IKEA feel it is necessary to redesign each apartment to suit the educational and functional needs of the students with furniture that is not only contemporary but unbreakable and nonflammable as well.”
Second floor apartments will turn into spacious palaces closer to the heavens. The same renovations that will take place in the ground floor apartments will occur in these apartments along with some extra perks. China and flatware will be purchased from Lenox and Tiffany & Co. Living rooms will be enhanced with dimming lighting and entertainment systems. Skylights will also be placed in the center of the ceilings with the option of opening or closing at the touch of a switch. Elaborate artwork, under the supervision of Michael Angelo, artist-in-resident at SUNY-Rome, will line the walls with murals depicting everyday life in and around the town of Plymouth. “My art, she is for the masses to view. Life in this town is priceless, therefore making the art itself priceless,” he proclaimed.
Despite the numerous changes and renovations on the schedule, construction will be completed before the new school year begins this September. Since all plans have been carefully overlooked by ingÃnues of famed architect Frank Lloyd Wright, workers will have virtually no problems following orders to complete this immense task. Willy Wonka, Inc. will provide Oompa-loompas to be employed day and night along with a number of volunteer PSC students to complete the work. Claude Ballz is the Oompa-loompa in charge of the workers. “I see the work being done over the entire summer, which is when we’re used to working, hence the bright carroty glow on our faces,” he explained.
Needless to say, the changes at the NTSA will be quite an improvement to the already dilapidated conditions residents are living in now. Not yet available to the public is the proposed cost of the entire project. Although the committee has raised over $50 million, fees for room and board will be raised for those wishing to live in the lap of luxury. Residents of the NTSA and most everyone else at Plymouth State College and the surrounding community will be pleased with “New Hampshire’s newest mountainside paradise.”