Panties, tires, food, toiletries, bikes, toys, furniture. What is it that you need? I guarantee that they have it. If there’s something you need, make that trek to the store that has everything, the mecca of one-stop shopping, home of the low prices and that cute (sometimes annoying) little bouncing yellow smiley face. At the entrance you will be greeted by your own personal senior citizen who is happy to see that you are paying a visit.
Wal-Mart is for every occasion. Are you planning a romantic dinner? Well, soon-to-be conveniently located up the road from our very own Plymouth State College, you can purchase the candles, the outfit, the flowers, and the meal (they even have sexy lingerie, if you’re that lucky). Why mess with driving to Tilton to buy the outfit at one of the clothing outlets, purchasing the candles at some expensive candle store, stopping at the flower shop, and then shopping for groceries at the always overpriced (and only option) Hannaford, previously known as Shop ‘n Save? As a college student’s dream, everything we need will be right up the road. This means less gas, meaning less money, meaning maybe we can afford to make it through the four years of college tuition. Okay, so maybe it’s an exaggeration that the new Wal-Mart will get us through school; but hey, when it’s almost time to go home to do the laundry but you’ve run out of underwear, you no longer have to go without. All you have to do is drive up the road and purchase a few new pairs, along with some ramen and a couple of movies that you and your friends have been dying to see (because honestly, you never come out of Wal-Mart with just the things you went in for).
Wal-Mart is the answer. Do you need food? Wal-Mart. Do you need your film developed? Wal-Mart. Are you up at all hours of the night because you are in college and you can’t remember the fundamentals of sleeping? Wal-Mart is there for you, open 24-7. Do you need new tires? Wal-Mart. Did you have a bad day and you want to buy something for yourself but you don’t feel like maxing out your third credit card? Wal-Mart. But beware: low-prices and that little bouncing yellow head can trick you. Just because the prices are “slashed” down by our yellow buddy does not mean that you can fill up two carts of merchandise and not expect to be broke (a common mistake made by me on numerous field trips to the famous Wal-Mart). But heaven it is for the common college student whose basic need is convenience and low prices. So, thank you, Wal-Mart for catering to our needs. And to that nice greeter person at the door: you have a nice day too!