Halloween 2006 is rapidly approaching. For many students, Halloween is the best time of the year. Candy! Parties! Hundreds of college girls prancing around half-naked and calling it a costume! What’s not to love?
The biggest Halloween bummer for any student is the daunting task of deciding what costume to sport. While many desirable costumes are available, they happen to be a bit too expensive for the average college student; averaging from $20-$50. With the nearest costume shop located 40 minutes away in Concord, what is a Plymouth State student to do?
Fear not, for there are many costumes that can be assembled without having to break the college student’s budget. Here’s a few simple suggestions for some costumes that can be created with materials that the average college student already has.
How to be Britney Spears and Kevin Federline: Best for a couple, but a Britney costume can be done alone (for an added bonus: guy dresses as Britney and a girl as K-Fed.) For Britney, clothing consists of a too-tight tank and ripped jeans. Bare feet are preferable. Hair must be unwashed with roots exposed. Shove a pillow under tank top and carry a fake baby, remembering to occasionally drop it and exclaim, “Oops! I did it again!” Kevin’s outfit features a wife beater (can be found at Wal-Mart in a pack of six for about $4) and shorts worn around the knees. Accessories include oversized diamond earrings and cigarettes. Utter profanities throughout the night and pretend to rap.
How to be a “Cereal” Killer: Eat the entire contents of a box of cereal. Save the box. Tie box around neck with some fake blood dripped on it (can’t afford it? Grab some ketchup packets from the HUB.) Carry a plastic knife and imitate the “Psycho” screeching theme while pretending to kill (PRETEND is the key word here.)
How to be Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen (yes, it was done by Regis and Kelly a few years back. As long as the O Twins are skinny and weird, it still works.) This is funnier if done by men. Acquire a blonde and a brunette wig. Grease it up and then tease it till it appears to have a “bird’s nest” quality to it. Wear oversized sunglasses and carry Starbucks lattes (available in the library.) The blonde should wear stylish designer clothes. Brunette should find a bag-lady dress at the nearest Goodwill. Must have constant looks of contempt. In preparation, do not eat for a week prior.
How to be the Robert Frost Statue: Face and body should be painted bronze. Wear a button down collared shirt and slacks. Carry around a pen and large pad of paper and ponder. Pose as if constantly preparing to write. This one requires being able to sit very still for a long time without cramping. Be ready to have students drunkenly plunking down and posing for a picture. Act like you’re worth $65,000.
How to be The Naked Cowboy: Staying out of jail is not guaranteed. Costume consists of tighty-whities, cowboy hat and boots. Wear a long blonde wig and use a guitar to make up bad country songs about people. A bottle of self-tanner and lack of talent necessary. Be prepared to see pictures of oneself on other people’s Facebook sites for months to come.
How to be a Black Eyed Pea: Option one- Wear one neutral color pants and shirt (preferably white.) Cut out a large “P” out of black construction paper. Draw a large black circle around one eye. Option two- requires cornrows. Put on booty shorts and dance like Fergie.
How to be any animal (for girls): Take a cue from “Mean Girls” and dress as a cute creature. Be wary that hundreds of other girls will be dressed exactly the same. Buy or make animal ears out of felt. Find a short skirt and fishnets that coordinate with the color of the animal. Pin a tail on the butt and shake it at people. Halloween is the only time it’s appropriate to dress like a hooker and not get made fun of, so work it. No fun if weather is 40 degrees or lower.
How to be a gold digger: Grab a construction hat, preferably with a light on it. Can be found anywhere on the Plymouth campus. Makeup consists of dirt streaked on face. Paint visible body parts gold and stuff pockets with money. Carry a small shovel and blurt out lines from Kanye West throughout the evening.
How to be God: For the existentialist. Dress in all black, turtleneck preferred. Wear a “Hello, my name is” nametag with “GOD” written on it in plain black letters. Act all-knowing and powerful. Attempt to part the crowd in front of you like it’s the Red Sea.
How to be a Clock Staffer: Carry a mass amount of red pens in pockets at all times. Routinely grab other newspapers and scoff at how much better The Clock is. Wear press pass around neck and carry a camera “just in case.” Worry at every event whether or not someone is covering it. Wear a wig with random bald spots that are a result of pulling out one’s hair at 11:30 on a Tuesday night. Never use meal plan because the HUB is just so much closer. Constantly yell at Dustin Siggins.