Dear Evil Overlord of Newsiness and esteemed members of the student body,
I’m writing one last time to The Clock to dispel any rumors that may have cropped up this past week about me having an actual soul. Some have even said that I showed emotion when I made my final appearance before the English Department for the senior reading. I assure everyone that this could not possibly be true.
I admit that over these past however many years, Plymouth undeniably changed who I am. Few people like me ever get many chances – I’m a high school dropout from a tiny town up north. Everyone struggles against the current of life – regardless of whether they blame fate, or God, or just random chance. People have dreams bigger than themselves and the weight can sink the strongest swimmer.
To claim to be any different would be a meaningless lie. I’ve seen so many drown – stop fighting and get pulled to the bottom, their dreams with them. Sometimes, on days when the sun is maybe just a little too bright and the wind pushes at my back, I wonder why I’m not down there too.
Plymouth exists in a unique universe – like all college campuses, it’s part of the world, but somehow separate – as though we all took a step back from reality together to dream. It makes our experiences no less tangible, no less memorable and certainly no less relevant – instead, I think it brings us all closer together.
It’s almost time for me to wake up, though. As the dream comes to a close and I have to say all those final goodbyes – the ones I don’t want to say; maybe the ones I can’t, it dawns on me that my success comes down to a single truth: my friends.
At The Clock, I met what may well have been the most unique group of individuals ever assembled under a single timepiece. Over the last two years, they have taught me more about myself than I ever cared to know. More than that, they shared themselves with me: their thoughts and philosophies, their hopes and dreams, their happiness and their pain. We’re not friends here: we’re family. I owe each and every one of them for the strength that they have imparted to me through their encouragement and trust.
After I’m gone, the others will pick up my slack – creating something constantly better than before. The day this year started, I had expectations. The others exceeded those in roughly two weeks; forcing me to step up the pace to even try to keep up. Although I’ll never forgive them for the extra work, as it directly conflicts with my “lazy as I can be” policy, someday after I exact vengeance I might even thank them for the lessons I learned; perhaps most important of which was the ability to function on four hours of sleep.
Of course, they are not the only force in my life. The English Department, too, contains some of the smartest, friendliest, wisest people I’ve ever known. Even the professors who I’ve never had a class with have inspired me with their wit, and perhaps a little of that creative insanity that drives anyone who chooses to read, write or teach for a living. Those I have taken courses with I count among my greatest influences and best friends – they have given me the skills I need to go out into the world and not get eaten by a bear. That’s right. A bear. Thank you for saving me from that cruel destiny.
For a reason based more on whim than wisdom, I signed up for ResLife. I’d always looked up to the Community Advisors who worked so hard for everyone. At Langdon Woods, I found myself in a brand new environment. When I took the job, during training they warned me that the real training would begin when I actually started working. They didn’t lie. From floods to Spring Fling, Janette and the rest of her talented staff taught me the meaning of being a leader; and the deep responsibility attached. My residents showed me a side of their lives, too, that few get to see. Thank you all for giving me the confidence to one day rule the world. I’ll remember you all and save places for you in my elite caste of ninja philosophers.
And to the rest of you, the students who don’t know me at all – you’re probably pretty lucky. Until now. You each are every bit as important as the ones who shaped my life. You influence others, too – for better and for worse. Keep it in mind; I’m entrusting the future of this University to you. I’ve been able to see all the things you’ve done over my years here and it makes my heart – or reasonable facsimile of one – swell with pride.
I’ll miss you all, take care and my best wishes. Sayonara!
Clocking out for good… or evil,
James Smith
Prophet of the Great Cheesewheel of Life that Protects Us from the Spinning Golfball of Doom out in Space