Everyone knows about the famous Christmas film, A Christmas Story, right? The famous Bob Clark film about how kids truly are during Christmas? For anyone who doesn’t know, the film is about Ralph Parker, played by a young Peter Billingsley, during Christmas time in the 1940’s and his pursuit for a single gift. That gift being a Red Ryder B.B. Gun, and how this is rationalized in his mind along with his relationship with his friends and family. Since this is a famous film that is viewed annually around Christmas and remakes are now popular, someone with a cold and money pumping heart decided that this film needed a sequel.
That’s right, a film that is nearly thirty years old now has a sequel called “A Christmas Story 2” (the original trailer stated that this is the “Official Sequel” which makes one wonder if there are knock off sequels). In the sequel, Ralph, this time played by Braeden Lemasters, is now a teenager. Now he has two things on his mind, a car and the popular girl Drucilla Gootrad, played by Tiera Skovbye. After getting in trouble at the dealership that the car is held at, Ralph and his friends Schwartz, played by David Buehrie, and Flik, played by David Thompson, have to raise the money to fix the problem.
Meanwhile, Ralph’s dad (that’s how the character is credited in this film and in the original), played by Daniel Stern, is trying to catch a fish for family dinner with his young, Buck Rogers obsessed son, Randy, played by Valin Shinyei. There is pretty much no point to talking about the Mother, played by Stacey Travis, since she really doesn’t do much except for one thing at the end.
One has to wonder how the writer of the film can actually consider this script their own work since this film feels like it’s stitched from every single Christmas film ever seen. There isn’t a single original bone in this film’s body; it feels safe and sterile which the first film definitely wasn’t. That isn’t to say that it isn’t like the first film, there are times when jokes are directly copied and pasted without meaning. This is the filmmakers screaming “Hey Everyone! Remember this joke!?! You love this joke right?” It’s insulting how this film uses references from the original movie. When looking at this as a sequel to A Christmas Story, you start to see how this film is completely broken. What made the first film interesting was how we saw everything through young Ralph’s eyes and how selfish he is as a young kid.
However, instead of hearing Ralph’s insights into what he wants as a teenager since all we see him do mainly is try to get money. This isn’t helped by the performance from Braeden Lemasters who plays Ralph like an idiot and sometimes as a very creepy pervert. There is a point when he’s in band practice where he gets to stand behind Drucilla and he likes it because…he gets to smell her hair. When he does he goes into an ecstatic fit afterward which doesn’t leave one laughing, so much as wondering what kind of adult Ralph will turn into. There is also the fact that Braeden looks like a complete and utter imbecile in every single scene he’s in.
For those who don’t know the original is told from the perspective of someone talking about their memories and the sequel follows suit. The original narrator was Jean Shepherd, while in this film has Nat Mauldin. While Jean Shepherd talked when it was appropriate, Nat Mauldin won’t shut up for the first twenty minutes and then barely chirps in for the rest of the film.
The acting all around is painful to watch as the director apparently fell asleep after telling the actors that they should overact since they’re in a comedy. Flick and Schwartz make one wonder how they get themselves dressed in the morning, as they aren’t able to even stamp letters without doing something wrong. One has to feel sorry for Daniel Stern, who plays the once great role of Ralph’s father as a caricature of his old self. One of the big things about the father was that he swore like a sailor but we didn’t hear it often since he only swore when working on the furnace. However, when we see Daniel Stern downstairs, he is literally saying gibberish. Stacey Travis as the mother literally has nothing really interesting to do and Valin Shinyei as Randy is just another snarky little brother.
The sets aren’t interesting at all. They’re all on a film set while the original actually went to actual locations. This is just another way that Warner Bros. decided to steal money from people who liked the first film. While I won’t spoil the film for you the ending is easily the most insulting thing about the film and makes it completely different from what the original was all about.
If that wasn’t enough, the only way to get the DVD was to get a special “Limited Edition” two-pack with this film and the original film. This says that Warner Bros. isn’t confident enough to just release it by itself so they had to release it with the original film. Don’t waste eighteen dollars on the two pack; just pay ten dollars for the original film by itself. There are so many things this time of year to do with eighteen dollars, like getting something nice for someone you care about or just plain burning it for fun.
It’s easy to say that this film is a cold, heartless, cash grabbing, waste of a Christmas film that was forced into existence to get money from gullible people. In light of this, I’d actually like to highlight some weird, fun, or obscure Christmas films/specials because you deserve more than what this film is offering. Here is a small list of those films/specials:
• Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
When Martian children start becoming sad, it’s recommended that they get the one thing children love most, Santa Claus. However, Voldar, isn’t very pleased about this and plans to stop the mission. This is a completely stupid movie but’s it fun to watch for just the premise alone. It’s also recommended to watch the “Mystery Science Theater 3000” version of this for added laughs.
• Santa Claus (1959, and yes it’s just “Santa Claus”)
When Pitch, a demon that works for Satan, is threated with Ice Cream to do his job, he starts to corrupt children. It’s up to Santa and Merlin (Yes, as in, Merlin the magician) to stop him. If you’ve always wanted to see a different interpretation of Santa that this film’s for you; he still acts like the Santa you know but there are some differences. He lives in a castle in the sky, has machines with human eyes and mouths, creepy robot reindeer, and instead of elves making the toys, its children, that Santa has presumably kidnapped, to make the toys for him. This one is also recommended to watch the “Mystery Science Theater 3000” version also.
• The Little Matchgirl (2006)
This animated short from Disney is truly inspiring. The Little Matchgirl tells the story of a poor girl trying to sell matches but no one buys them so she lights them herself to view some happiness. This is a prime example of a story just told with emotion and sight, with barely any talking involved. How everything moves and how it makes you feel makes you want to buy some matches from this little girl. I won’t spoil the ending but it’s great to see Disney leave it untouched.
While there are many more, I figure I would leave you with a sample of some fine holiday things to think about and maybe even check out. Since I don’t want to leave on a negative note, I want to say something personally, to the readers before winter break starts. Have a Merry Christmas, A Happy Hanukah, and a Happy Holidays.