With the release of the newest season of Arrested Development in May, Netflix has announced that it plans to bring back any and every show that has ever been canceled, but especially those canceled by the Fox network and/or Joss Whedon shows. “We already have a ton of shows on our streaming service, we figured it wouldn’t be too expensive to continue them and it would make the fans happy,” a spokesperson for Netflix stated. In a list obtained by The Clock, a sample of the expected shows to return are Firefly, I Love Lucy, The X-Files, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The Netflix spokesperson continued, “believe us, if we could bring back shows that are already airing, we would.”
When asked how they would continue older shows like Gunsmoke or I Love Lucy when some or all of the main actors have been deceased for quite some time, Netflix was a little hesitant to say, but then revealed, “Oh you know… reanimate the dead. I dunno a hologram worked for Tupac. In the end, lots and lots of money, in the words of that Fry from Futurama (which we wish we could bring back but Comedy Central beat us to it) meme, ‘shut up and take our money’.”
Netflix continued; “If you’re worried about your monthly subscription going up, don’t worry, it will! Coming in the next twelve months, the price will jump to $25 a month per show or we can Kickstart them. That Veronica Mars, which we’re totally bringing back by the way, is showing us that people are dumb enough to pay for anything, even if some far more rich corporation can pay for it. But our DVD rentals, those will stay $7.99, no one uses them for much more than coasters anymore.” Is there a show you’re looking forward to coming back? Chances are Netflix is bringing it back, much like Justin Timberlake brought sexy back and the Doctor brought bow tie’s back.
Whether we’re watching a zombiefied Lucielle Ball (Walking Dead crossover?! “If we can convince AMC, sure,” says Netflix) or an arthritic, 80-something year old Dick Van Dyke trip over a hassock, or you want to watch Uncle Jesse still fuss about his hair while Becky searches eHarmony for a new husband and Craigslist for a new place to live because they’re all still living in the Tanner household, Netflix will be airing shows that no longer air, both newly gone and long dead. Keep your eyes open for these returning shows in the near future!