This is a column looking to break stigmas and cure the deadly sickness of ignorance. Each week, you will be reading a new article addressing sex…and I mean all kinds of sex: heterosexual sex, homosexual sex, “Hand Solo” sex, etc. Get ready for a nwew kind of Sex 101.
Lesbian sex is one of the most misconceived forms of sex. I can’t tell you the number of times I have heard this phrase, “Don’t you just, like scissor or something?” No. Two women spreading their legs and grinding their vaginas together only happens in pornos because it’s thought of as being “sexy.” This kind of maneuver rarely ever happens in the bedroom, and if it does it’s between two lesbian virgins who figure out it doesn’t really feel good within the first two seconds. “People think that [lesbian sex] only has to do with strap-ons and scissoring. Unless you want to have a hip replacement within the next five years, scissoring is pointless,” said a lesbian Senior PSU student.
In fact, when a male PSU student was asked about what he thought lesbian sex was he said, “It’s strap-ons. There has to be penetration for it to be sex. Plus, it’s sexier that way.” I would bet money that this individual had only watched porn. When asked for their definition of lesbian sex, a lesbian PSU student said, “It’s getting completely naked and touching each other with your tongues and hands and some other things like strap-ons and toys [laughs].”
It is a huge misconception that there is always a “man” and a “woman” in lesbian relationships. You know, there’s “always one that wears the strap-on in bed.” This is not true at all. There are couples where both women are feminine and couples where both women are masculine. Women don’t just go around trying to fill the place of a gender deficiency. All relationships, heterosexual and homosexual, come in different shapes and forms. It all has to do with who we are attracted to. This also ties into the misconception that lesbians do not wear lingerie. Yes they do. Some lingerie may just take on the form of boxers or boxer briefs for some. When explaining why she wears boxers, a PSU student said, “I love wearing boxers, it gives my vagina room to breathe.” Another student said, “I like the way my briefs hug my ass.” So there you have it, lingerie or undergarments come in many different forms, just as relationships do.
Another phrase that is heard a lot is, “you just haven’t found the right penis yet.” Lesbians cringe when hearing this because it’s simply untrue and is insulting. We do not choose our sexuality or who we are attracted to. Saying this to someone who identifies as a lesbian is like saying to a straight male, “you just haven’t found the right penis yet” or to a straight female, “you just haven’t found the right vagina yet.” It’s insulting, so we should all just stop saying that right now.
Here’s another one, “Women who like women—especially bisexuals—would love to take part in your threesome.” Just because a woman is attracted to other women does not mean they want to take part in someone’s threesome extravaganza. Some may want to, but not all.
Last but not least, some may often hear, “Lesbians hate men.” No, no, no…a lot of gay women have male friends just like any other sexuality. “We just love women more in the bedroom.”