PSU’s Favorite Feline Remains a Mystery

Venchenzo, Tom, Odey, Garfield, Cat, Hoobs, Butters, Ziggy, Jackers, and Otis Spunkmeyer (yea as in the cookie guy). Everybody knows him, but nobody knows who he is or where he belongs.I’m talking about that pesky orange cat that’s known for wandering around the students apartments in search of his next meal and bed to take a snooze on. Rumor had it that he belonged to XAZ, but that’s not true. When I asked if he was theirs, they said “no, he just sleeps on the porch”.So what is it about this cat that makes everyone want to hang out with him? Sophomore Evan O. says that “he is the chillest cat”. That’s a broad statement- what is it about orange cat that makes him so ‘chill’? Alex Moore likes him because “he’s very soft.” Rachel Kirkpatrick likes him because “he lets [her] hold him and he just likes people.” Chrissy McCormack loves the orange cat because all she has to do is “make a kiss noise and he comes running from a mile away.” Junior Vanessa Anair is willing to hang out with him because “he eats her bologna and then he cuddles.” This is exactly what this cat does- he eats and sleeps, and then he leaves. This is why Junior Jared Poole enjoys his company, “he’s just like me, eatin’ and sleepin’ all the time”. After hearing feedback from the students at the apartments, I now know why he has gained about five pounds. This is a FAT CAT! He is progressively gaining weight, due to a little bologna here, and some tuna there. How can we help him not become overly obese? Maybe we should all invest in a small bag of dry cat food and loosen his collars in the meantime. And, if you must give him milk, make sure it’s diluted with water, otherwise he’ll be fiercely sick. Contrary to popular belief, most cats are actually lactose intolerant. Over at the student apartments there is a huge orange cat following, but we need to keep in mind that somewhere out there, someone is probably missing this little guy a whole bunch. Although, Who can blame such a spoiled animal for not searching for home? Until he finds his real home, be sure to let him roam so we all get to visit with him. He is what we call a loner. I respect that, and all we can do is continue to care for him. When it’s cold at night, make sure he’s not outside. And if he wants to leave, let him, because he sure needs the exercise.