After a four month long bickering battle between Plymouth State faculty and staff the school has finally come to a new decision on a new name for the school. Beginning in the fall of the 2002/2003 school year, Plymouth State College will be formally known as College Regional at Plymouth.
The name was handed down from state authorities after the debate of the P.U. acronym started affecting people’s health. “It just got to be too much,” said Dr. Andrew Green of the Picking New Names department. “People were staying up all night and skipping their classes just to voice their disagreement with the name change.”
After an article appeared in rival newspaper The Clock, faculty around the school began an online discussion about the previously suggested name “Plymouth University” and how the initials of such a school too closely resembles the expression a person makes when confronting an offensive odor. Despite repeated explanation that several other schools across the country have endured the same challenge of overcoming a name, several faculty, staff and students voiced their apparent dissatisfaction with their chosen community by saying, “yeah, but this is Plymouth.”
“The name College Regional at Plymouth will better represent the opinions of those who disagreed with the earlier suggestion,” said Amanda Lynn Case, the new Vice President of Name Calling. “People need a name that’s going to represent them, not the school. And nobody likes to have a name that has ambiguous meanings.”
So far the name College Regional at Plymouth has received great acclaim within the college community and surrounding citizens. “It’s so good to have a name for the school that really represents the town,” says Stanley Good-speade who lives in that big, yellow house down the road. “This new name is really going to stay out of the sewers of people’s minds. We’re glad to have this name representing the town as much as it is the school.”
The name College Regional at Plymouth was chosen from several other worthy names, but the final decision was based on what the title actually stands for. The new name incorporates a handful of characteristics about the town and campus which are important for reputation, recruitment and retention. It will represent the college atmosphere while still showing that this college is just one part of a larger system. However, the most important part of the change, according to several members of the school and state legislature, is the “at Plymouth.” Apparently, people couldn’t figure out where the school was when it was called Plymouth State College. “We were spending so much time explaining to people where the school was that we could’ve been spending bringing in more people,” explained Howard Nipply, who has nothing to do with Admissions or the school in general. “This new change is going to make our lives so much easier. We won’t be spending 80% of our time saying ‘Plymouth State is in Plymouth,” which was confusing almost all of our applicants- except those that didn’t speak English.”
Along with the new name several other changes will be made to the school. The Picking New Names department will no longer be needed, but those involved with the department will be offered a raise to join in the new department, Keeping the New Name. Green is said to chair the department, though no final decisions have been made yet. One change that has come about solely because of the new name will be a series of three courses designed to keep earlier name change debates from happening again. The courses will put a strong focus on abolishing ignorance and promoting an open mind. Another new series of classes will also be added to the already existing teaching program. The program will be accelerated group of classes helping future teachers learn modern techniques and apply them in real situations. The new program will be called Schooled Higher in Teaching and will begin in the spring of 2003. “We’re very excited about this new program,” said Alice Combs, the new chair of the program. “We’ve been working very hard to find current trends in teaching and we look forward to getting it to work.”
Excitement over the new name change has sparked a lot of interest throughout the school and will lead to the First Undergraduate Class Kickoff at the start of the fall semester. A carnival will be held with games and prizes to celebrate the name College Regional at Plymouth. For more information regarding the carnival or name change, please call 1-800-GULLIBLE.