Ask The Chief
Word on the street is that you’ve got some kind of agenda. What’s goin’ on Mike?
Scott CoykenallThe Clock Faculty Advisor
Well Scott, I do indeed have an agenda. This is my fourth and final year here at The Clock and my sinister master plan has almost come to fruition. For four years I’ve been biding my time, putting in my dues here at the paper until I finally became Editor-in-Chief! And now my dream of sparking a creative and spiritual revolution here at Plymouth cannot be stopped! Mua ha ha ha! All will succumb to my bleeding-heart-commie-pinko-finger-painting-granola-orgy-love-fiesta resulting from years of setting domino’s in all the right places. Like the Pied Piper I’ll hypnotize the community to be my mindless left-wing drones. Yes! Yes! Then I’ll have my minions round up all the conservatives around campus and put them all in one giant holding tank where we’ll then throw cold tofu at them while singing Ani DiFranco and spurting quotes from Noam Chomsky! Actually, Scott, my real agenda all along has been to make this student newspaper something that is looked forward to every week by the community. My greatest effort as Editor-in-Chief has been to ensure The Clock is an environment where free speech is nurtured and no perspective is turned away, and part of getting people to participate is shaking things up from time to time. Love it or hate it, this year The Clock has been flying off the racks like never before. The Student Newspaper of Plymouth State University may seem a little in your face sometimes. It might seem biased to those keen observers out there, Scott. Those critics need to remember that there is no such thing as a bias free newspaper, and if there actually were one in existence you’d fall asleep reading it. So what if I’ve infused our precious student rag with some attitude? It’s the duty of the paper to promote discussion throughout the halls of our institution of higher education, and no one is gonna talk it up if they’re being lulled into a catatonic state by stale civil discourse and filtered information. My agenda is to dispel McCarthy’s ghost in all its ugly manifestations, and to make sure that the innocent child on the side of the road can safely point out to everyone that the Emperor has no clothes. Dig it, or deal with it.
High Minister of Student Information, Mike Longo