Saying Goodbye to a Game

"Wrestling represents the most difficult and rewarding objective that I have ever dedicated myself to."- John Irving

Nine seconds. Senior Rob Phillips sat in the locker room at Wesleyan University on the afternoon of February 26^th, 2012, his head bowed, eyes closed, replaying those seconds over and over again in his mind as a puddle of post-match sweat, the kind he had grown accustomed to the past four years, formed beneath his feet. Nine seconds. That was the only difference in the triple overtime ride-out time that had cost senior Rob Phillips' the match, and ended his collegiate wrestling career. It was the win that got away. 

 "It was tough. It probably always will be when I think back to it. To get so close to a win, to get so close to advancing in the (New England Wrestling Association) tournament, only to lose like that. The competitor in me is going to have a hard time getting over that," said Phillips. With the loss, Phillips took fourth place in the NEWA New England Championships, capping off an impressive 28-win season. For all athletes, especially those with the competitive drive of Phillips, the realization that their career has ended can be a harsh reality. It's the thought of "what could've been" that haunts many recently-retired athletes' minds. "That'll always be the case. I think that's a pretty universal thing. Everyone wishes they could've done more, whether or not they could have actually done so. Hell, I wish I would've won that (NEWA) tourney," said Phillips. That is the mindset that fuels the aggression and ambition of wrestlers.

Different from other sports, where glory is generally shared, wrestling leaves the opportunity for a competitor to reach out and grab the bull of victory by the horns. You can't blame a bad pass from a quarterback, or a bad bounce of the basketball on the court, it's just you to blame or congratulate. "There's no one out there, but you and him (your opponent). It's a crazy feeling. Being out on the mat alone, exposed, which can be kind of scary. There's also nothing like it. It's invigorating and worth all the hard work we put up with in practice. It's a feeling I'm going to miss when my career's over," said a teammate of Phillips, junior Femi Wheeler, who finished runner-up in the NEWA New England Championships.

The inevitable question that creeps into the athlete's mind following a long career in a particular sport is whether all of the sacrifice and struggles, both physical and mental, were worth it. It may cause some athletes, unsure of the effort that they could've expended or the games that could've ended differently, to lose sleep, but not Phillips. "That was the easiest question I asked myself after that last match, whether it was worth it or not. Of course it was. There's nothing quite like that feeling of giving everything in the tank, everything you've got and, win or lose, you're satisfied with yourself. That's what sports are all about."